There are more ways to die than with a bullet or old age. Death doesn’t have to come with a casket. You can be alive and still be dead. It’s called an internal collapse. And it doesn’t have to be an avalanche. It can be a very slow burn like losing hair or being a lifer at a job you hate. I was dead once. I didn’t breathe. By choice. I chose to not to be aware. People were objects. I lived in my head. Life meant holding onto a number until it was called. And it never was. I think most people are dead. They don’t make the choice to live until they feel they are going to die. Because when you live dead, you don’t feel like you’re going to die. There is no urgency. Only a place for a bookmark.
Dead means to live a processed life, one that is manufactured, not by design but circumstances. Circumstances include everything we are afraid of and we created them. Failure. Love. The past. The future. Right now. We die because we are not convinced that anything will be different. If you want to live, you have to get dirty. Face who you were, are, need to be in order to get out of that fucking line. There will be pain. Lots of pain, physically, mentally, emotionally. But pain doesn’t mean weakness or death. It means strength and colors. It means blood in your veins. Because everything starts with pain, starting with birth. It’s the soil to growth. So you say you’re not happy? Fuck happy. Happy is Santa Claus. If you think life is about presents, you’ll never be happy. Life is about muddy trenches and doing everything you can to climb out of them. Life is about conquering mountains that you only see in photographs. Life means to live dirty and by dirty I mean fearing less. Life happens when you make a decision to start being less afraid. You want a better job. First find your passion and run toward it fast enough to break walls because they will appear very fast. You want real love? First know what it looks like and you won’t find it in magazines. You want money? First, give your gifts a voice. Because money is a symptom. It’s the result of your gifts being heard. You want a better body? Eat real food and work out so hard that you think you’re going to die, because you’re not. You’re just not used to it. And get comfortable there. You want to live?